Loneliness And Pain
Finding A Friend
As I continue this article on loneliness and isolation, I wonder if this subject has touched a nerve in your life. Who knows your thoughts? Does anyone understand the last decision you made? When you were looking for some attention yesterday, did anyone stop and notice you? Did you hurt alone and without comfort recently? Is the worst company you keep with yourself?
It would be nice if success, wealth, power and 1,000 friends on Facebook translated into a circle of meaningful relationships. But it doesn’t, does it? Michael Staver, a wealthy real estate tycoon, told the Dallas Morning News (2/5/80): “If you go into business with the idea of erecting an empire, all you do is make yourself a nicer cage. You’re a prisoner of the monster you created. It’s lonely.”
If you want to break free, there’s a fourth thing that you need to consider.
4. Resist The Tendency To Withdraw.
If you are hiding, you are hurting. Hurting people, hurt people. Chances are if you are hiding, you are hurting someone close to you. Your isolation is leaking out on someone else and drawing him or her into your misery. If your loneliness were just about you, you would be justified in doing nothing about it at all. But that’s not the case.
One of my three earthly fathers died in a small trailer in Pennsylvania a few years ago. The electricity was disconnected from his home. He had a Coleman lantern for light and heat. He had no friends or family that he didn’t intentionally isolate. He denied every request from my brother and me to come and visit him. During his life he made some huge mistakes. He never stopped punishing himself for them either. I always thought that one day he would snap out of it and join the human race. But in the end, he got what he wanted. Most of us do.
It wasn’t always that way for him. As a little boy we lived in Germany. I remember him taking me all across the country to visit castles, caves, mountains, and beautiful hamlets. He taught me how to throw and catch a baseball. When he walked away from my life at eight years of age, my world was never the same. I don’t think his was either.
Some of you men out there have estranged sons and daughters. I could tell tales about what it is like from the other perspective. You may not be able to undo the past, but you can do something about the present and the future. Don’t think it is beyond the strength and intervention of God to open up a tiny door of opportunity for you to crawl through. You may have had the door slammed in your face, but don’t give up. Someone else may be putting a damaging spin on your reputation, but God is the Justifier of the just. Never, never give up on your children. God will make a way when there seems to be no way. Trust Him and take every opportunity He affords.
5. Ask Somebody To Pray For You.
Prayers spoken over you by a Godly man or woman do what nothing else can do for you. There is no substitute to prayer. Let me state it this way; if you are looking for an end to your isolation in a nightclub, a relationship, or among those who share a common interest, you will get your heart broken every time.
Nothing else is going to do for you what prayer will. Stop trying to make something else or someone else fill the void. You’re just shoving square pegs into round holes. Spiritual problems demand spiritual solutions. If your problem is spiritual, there is no medical solution, psychological remedy, or guru that will fix the problem.
Loneliness is a spiritual problem. If another human being were the solution, there would be no such thing as a man or a woman trapped in a lonely marriage. If money were the solution, Prince Charles and Princess Diana should have been wonderfully happy in each other’s company. If drugs and alcohol were the answer to coping with loneliness, then we could shut down all the rehab centers and proclaim addiction as the answer to what ails us.
Prayers spoken over you rise to the throne of God. They penetrate your spirit. Prayer is a healing balm that oozes into all the cracks created by shattered dreams and a broken heart. In fact, I want to say a prayer over you right now.
Father in heaven, I have a friend who wandered onto my web page. You see them reading the words off this screen right now. Jesus I know you understand everything they are going through. You saw the hurt that took place. You are aware of all the negative emotions that hold their thoughts captive. Holy Spirit, set this person free. Loose the chains of the enemy. Because the strength of man fails us, take authority over the problem. Healing, sweet Jesus, is what we need more than our next breath. We have nowhere else to turn. If we could not trust you, then we would have exhausted our last hope. We claim your promises and put our faith in you, the everlasting One. Precious Lord, take my friend’s hand. Lead them into the fullness of your company. Guide them into intimacy with you. Sufficient Lord, Savior, Jesus, Lamb of God, we leave our prayer at your feet. We praise you in advance of our future victory. Amen.
Do you need prayer? The Movement Church of San Antonio believes that prayer sets people free. We gather in homes. It’s safe. Joining us is just a click away.
Don’t forget to check out “The Solution To Loneliness.”